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A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen - Winston Churchill

An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere - Mark Twain

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word - Charles De Gaulle

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators - PJ O'Rourke

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president but they don't want them to become politicians in the process - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber - Plato

Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. Politicians will tell you what is popular, even though it may be untrue - Anonymous

A politician thinks of the next election—a statesman of the next generation. ~ James Freeman Clarke

Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician. We need more statesmen - Bob Edwards

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress ..... But I repeat myself - Mark Twain

10 QUOTATIONS ABOUT THE JOB POLITICIANS DO

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy - Ernest Benn

In politics, absurdity is not a handicap - Napoleon Bonaparte

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts - Henry Adams

Nowhere are prejudices more mistaken for truth, passion for reason and invective for documentation than in politics - John Mason Brown

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other - Oscar Ameringer,

Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians - Charles Krauthammer

A promising young man should go into politics so that he can go on promising for the rest of his life - Robert Byrne

We believe that to err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics - Hubert H. Humphrey

We have the best government that money can buy - Mark Twain

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate - Eric Idle

I make no apologies for placing some genuinely serious quotes in this section. I am a passionate believer in democracy and too many people trivialise its importance by likening democratic leaders such as the President of the United States or the Prime Minister of Great Britain to fascists, tyrants or dictators. They are not, and the failings of democratic nations such as America or the UK should not be compared in any way to the failings of truly evil regimes and the people who preside over them. Any such comparison not only denigrates the value of democracy - it can also cheapen the struggle of those who live under tyranny:

All government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery - Jonathan Swift

Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible - Mark Twain

No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent - Abraham Lincoln

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable - John F. Kennedy

Let us never forget that government is ourselves and not an alien power over us. The ultimate rulers of our democracy are not a President and senators and congressmen and government officials, but the voters of this country - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be - Sydney J. Harris

When our government is spoken of as some menacing, threatening, foreign entity, it ignores the fact that in our democracy, government is us - Barack Obama

Before we get too depressed about the state of our politics, let's remember our history ..... Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. What is amazing, is that despite all the conflict, our experiment in democracy has worked better than any form of government on earth - Barack Obama

No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time - Sir Winston Churchill

Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man - Ronald Reagan

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Funny Political Quote Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Biography

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'Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.''

'Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.''

If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

So why is politics such a rich source of the inane, the illogical, the daft and the dumb? And why do politicians say such stupid things? Is it because the pressure of the job plays havoc with the mind when our leaders have to speak off the cuff? Is it because the media spotlight demands an instant answer to any problem however complex, and creates a paranoia which precludes clear thought? Or is it because the bright people have all been snapped up to do other things more productive and intellectual - like education or law or business or stacking the shelves in a supermarket?

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles

I was allowed to ring the bell for five minutes until everyone was in assembly. It was the beginning of powe

Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties

The mistake a lot of politicians make is in forgetting they've been appointed and thinking they've been anointed.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority.

Tony Blair is like an actor who doesn't really believe in his script himself but has the incredible skill to make everyone else believe in it.

One of my movies was called True Lies. It's what the Democrats should have called their convention

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material.

On his running for California Governor: It's the most important decision I've had to make since 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

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Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

Political Quotes Funny Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

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Funny Political Cartoons Jokes Quotes Pictures Memes Pics Images Photos Pictures

An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.

The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said:

YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!
Santa apni grlfrnd k saath 1st date pe : Ye meri pehli date hai darling agr koi galti ya kami reh jaye toh chhota bhai samajh k maaf kr dena.

Sardar ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
2 din tak sardar apne bank nahi gaya,
Qnki bank me likha tha..
“hum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain”

Santa: I’ve Been Sending E-mails To William Shakespare…
Banta: William Shakespare Is Dead, Stupid…
Santa: No Wonder He Hasn’t Replied As Well…

Santa: Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.
Banta: Soja-Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain..

SANTA Ghar Ka Darwaza Ukhaad Ke Kandhe Pe Rakh Ke Ja Raha Tha.
Kisi Ne Puchha: Oye Kahan Ja Rahe Ho?
SANTA:Chabi kho gyi h Taala Khulwanay ja rha hun..........

Santa: Should I Buy Tickets For My Children.?
Conductor: Yes! Only If They Are Above 8.
Santa: Thank God ,I Have Only 6 Children..!!

Salesman-Which Soap U Use?
Santa-BABA’S Soap,BABA’S Paste,BABA’S Brush.
Salesman-Is BABA’S
An INTERNATIONAL Company?
SAnta: Baba Is My Room Mate

History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas’s brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas

Santa : Among My 4 Sons 3 R Engineers
Frnd:4th?
Santa : Useles,Dnt Study, Becam A Barber
Frnd:Y ,Dnt U Throw Him Out
Santa : Coz He’s D Only 1 Who Earns..!

Judge: Y U’ve stolen money 4m dis man?
Sardar: My lord I’ve nt stolen money. He jst gave it 2 me
Judge: Whn He gave U money ?
Sardar: Whn I showd him gun

Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.

Santa : Soch Raha Hu Ki USA Ghumaun,
Kitna Paisa Lagega?
Banta : Kuch B Nahi
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Sochne K Liye Paise Nahi Lagte

Santa: Mujhe Shadi Me BMW Mili He.
Banta: Pr Tumhare Pass To Koi Car Nahi He!
Santa: Abye Ghadhe,
BMW Ka Matlab
Bahut Motti Wife

Preeto 2 maid:
Oh Kanta, I have 2 suspect that
Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don’t believe it!
U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Wife : I will die.

Husband : I will also die.

Wife : why do u want to die?

Husband : because main itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta.

Khabardar Miss Call Sehat Ke Liye Muzir Hai Tabiat Ziada Kharab Ho To Call Kijiye Tamam Sms Waldain Ki Pohanch Se Door Rakhye Vizarat-E-Tum Hakoomat-E-Hum

Aey Eid Key Chand! Keyun karta hai tu ham ko pareshan

Tujhay dekhne ke liye baichain hain ham aur mufti Muneeb-ur-Rehman

Tujhay daikh nahi pate poray Pakistan key insan

Per Kahan say dohnd leta hai tujhay Peshawar ka Pathan,

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,

Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,

Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,

Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!

Mohabat me dekho, kia mukaam paiya hai

haath pair toote, muh se khoon aaiya hai

hospital pahunche to nurso ne kuch yu farmaiya hai ..

baharon phool barsao

kisi ka mehboob aiya ha

arz hai..

Uski ek aankh itni khubsoorat thi.

Uski ek aankh itni khubsoorat thi…

Ki uski doosri aankh bhi usi ko dekh rahi thi..

Har Karz dosti ka ada kon karega,

Jab hum na rahe to dosti kon karega,

ae khuda mere dosto ko salamat rakhna,

Warna meri shaadi mein dance kon karega??

Students ke Dard University kya jaane..

College ke riwaaj Parents kya jaane..

Hoti kitni taqleef 1 Paper likhne me..

woh Dard paper Check karne wale kya jaanee..

Dil cheer ke dikhaau, to dard dhoondh na paaoge,

Waah...waah. .. dil cheer ke dikhaau,

To dard dhoondh na paaoge...

Kyonki dard to mere daant me hai,

Bumper inaam- mujhe SMS pe SMS kare,

Aur aap jeet sakte hai 50 laakh ki car ka ek photo,

36 inch color TV. ka ek boxs aur

Pairis jaane waale plain ko ta-ta.

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.

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Hello guys this is a gay test

If you rate this kickass ur not gay, vice versa.

I wanna c how many ppl r gay

Kickass (6367) Lame (2516) 

How fast can you guess these words?

1._ _ _ k

2._ _ndom

3.d_ck

Answers:

1. book

2. random

3.duck

You didn't get them right you dirty minded slut!

Kickass (2633) Lame (683) 

What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A Seatbelt

Kickass (1899) Lame (442) 

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

Kickass (1361) Lame (230) 

A dad sees his son swatting a honeybee. He says, "For that, no honey for a month. The next day, he sees his son killing a butterfly. He says, "For that no butter for a month." The next day, he sees his wife kill a cockroach. The son says, "Dad you want to tell her or should I?"

Kickass (1419) Lame (323) 

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, ...Read More

Kickass (1433) Lame (412) 

Im not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more times than the first pipe on Flappy Bird.

Kickass (1060) Lame (219) 

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $...Read More

Kickass (1608) Lame (824) 

Me: Say "I am a man" after everything I say.

Friend: Alright.

Me: You broke up with your girlfriend.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: You decided to get drunk.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: You went to the bar.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: You found a hot chick there.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: You invited her to your house and ...Read More

Kickass (960) Lame (196) 

My boy friend said if this gets 200 kick-ass votes... were gonna try anal. please don't vote. he's on Viagra.

Kickass (1067) Lame (348) 

A husband and wife are trying to setup a new password for there computer. The husband puts "mypenis" and the wife starts laghing because the computer says "ERROR: NOT LONG ENOUGH"

Kickass (920) Lame (209) 

Some one asked me how people view lesbians in my country. Apparently 'Usually in HD' wasn't the answer they were looking for.

Kickass (910) Lame (208) 

After having failed his exam, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: 

“Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor: 

“Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student: 

“Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the ...Read More

Kickass (896) Lame (244) 

That awkward moment when a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer.

Killer: "Turn down that dark road down there."

Rapist: "I was planning on it..."

Kickass (896) Lame (260) 

I'm not saying she's a slut but she did get fired from the sperm bank, for drinking on the job.

Kickass (816) Lame (202) 

When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a condom. Funny thing is, they were all just pictures of me.

Kickass (759) Lame (171) 

Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.

Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)

Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!

...Next Day...

(Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!

Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)

...Read More

Kickass (678) Lame (91) 

Today I got beaten by a woman. I was in the elevator when that busty thing got in. I was staring at her tits, when she said, would you please press 1? I did. I don't know why I got beaten afterwards.

Kickass (733) Lame (180) 

Best way to answer the phone:

"Bob's whore house, you got the doe we got the hoe, how may I help you?"

Kickass (725) Lame (188) 

Next time you're having sex with your significant other, stop right in the middle of it.When she asks what you're doing say, "Shhh...I saw this in a porno once. It's called buffering.

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Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.

   

 

  Bahut Kuch Ditta Eh Rabba Tu Mainu, Bass Ik Meharbani Hor Karde

Ja Tah Milaade Mainu Yaar Mere Naal, Nhi Tah Botal Whisky Di Mere Moohre Dharde

   

 

  Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai. 

Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?

Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.”

   

 

 

Ik Din Santa Mandir Gya, Lok Bhajan Ga Rhe C:

“Darshan De Gariban Nu, Darshan De Gariban Nu”…

Sante Di Nuh Da Na “Darshan Rani” Si, Santa Nu Gussa Aa Gya,

Te Oh Bhi Bhajan Gaaun Lagga, “Darshan Mere Munde Di Bahu,

Oh Ta Mere Munde Di Rhu , Baki Gal Nasiban Di, Evein Kiven Gariban Di” 

   

 

  Ek Bache Di Nani Us Nu Sula Rahi C, Te Keh Rahi C Soja Degree Soja!

Tan Pdosan Ne Puchea Esnu Degree Kio Bula Rahi Hai

Tan Usne Keha, 

Meri Kudi Chandigarh Degree Lain Gai C Aah Lai K Aa Gai…

   

 

  Santa & Banta Saffar Te Ja Rhe See, Raste Wichoh Raat Ho Gye

Te Oh Tent Lga Ke So Gye, 

Raat Nu Banta Di Akh Khuli

Ohne Santa Nu Jaga Ke Kiha Asman Wal Dekh Ke Dass Tainu Ki Nazar Aa

Riha Hai Santa Boliya Bhut Sare Sittare

Banta Is To Ki Patta Lagda Hai

Santa: Assman Bhut Hi Khubsurat Hai Te Roshni B Hai

Banta: Oye Kanjra, Koi Sada Tent Putt Ke Lai Gya Hai

   

 

  Pappu Paperan Ch Fail Ho Gaya, Es Gall Te Baapu Ne Keha, Apne Padosh Aali Kudi Nu Dekh, Class Ch First Aayi Hai.

Oh Baapu Ohnu Hi Taan Dekhta Si, Taan Hi Taan Fail Ho Gaya…

   

 

  Ik Darzi Lokan De Kappde Lai Ke Faraar Ho Geya

Koi Kehenda Meri Pant,

Koi Kehenda Meri Shirt,

Sante Ne Ronde Hoye Keha Ke Oh Mera Napa Lai Geya…

   

 

  Tu sohni tera na sohni, par tu sohni ban ke na dikha saki, 

sohni ta kache ghadde te v tarr ke aa gi C, Te tu Three Wheeler te vi na aa saki!!! 

   

 

  Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho? , Student: vidya ke khaatir 

Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho? , Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir

   

 

  Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo. 

Patient: teek hai doctor 

(ek hafte ke baad) 

Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya? 

Patient: nahi doctor. 

Doctor: kyu nahi? 

Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe

   

 

 

Arz Karda Haan, Ohna Di Gali To Gujre

Taan Ohna Da Chobara Nazar Aaya,

Wah Ji Wah…

Ohda Baapu Bahar Aa Ke Boleya,

Hath Pair Tod Devanga, Je Fer Nazar Aaya…

   

 

 

Sante Ne Blade De Naal Apni Girlfriend Da Naa Apne Hath Te Likheya

5 Minute Baad Jor Jor Di Ron Lageya.

Banta: Oh Kahnu Ronda Oye?

Santa: Maitho Spelling Galat Ho Gayi Naa Di…

   

 

 

Santa is asked to translate a phrase in english:

“Dukh Hamesha Naal Rehnde Ne Per Khushi Aundi Jandi Rehendi Hai.”

Santa Translated it as: My wife is always with me but her sister comes and goes.

   

 

  Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai? 

Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi

   

 

  Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi? 

Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap? 

Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga

   

 

  Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna. 

Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai

   

 

  Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai. 

Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai. 

Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa

   

 

  Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne sochaa: 

"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"

   

 

  Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi. 

girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya? 

Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha

   

 

  Santa: tumhaara beta bilkul tumhaara jaisa hi dikhtaa hai. 

Banta: dheere se bol... woh padosi ka beta hai

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