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Jokes And Funny Pictures Biography

Source link Google.com.pk

Hello guys this is a gay test

If you rate this kickass ur not gay, vice versa.

I wanna c how many ppl r gay

Kickass (6367) Lame (2516)

How fast can you guess these words?

1._ _ _ k

2._ _ndom

3.d_ck

Answers:

1. book

2. random

3.duck

You didn't get them right you dirty minded slut!

Kickass (2633) Lame (683)

What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A Seatbelt

Kickass (1899) Lame (442)

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

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A dad sees his son swatting a honeybee. He says, "For that, no honey for a month. The next day, he sees his son killing a butterfly. He says, "For that no butter for a month." The next day, he sees his wife kill a cockroach. The son says, "Dad you want to tell her or should I?"

Kickass (1419) Lame (323)

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, ...Read More

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Im not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more times than the first pipe on Flappy Bird.

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A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $...Read More

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Me: Say "I am a man" after everything I say.

Friend: Alright.

Me: You broke up with your girlfriend.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: You decided to get drunk.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: You went to the bar.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: You found a hot chick there.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: You invited her to your house and ...Read More

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My boy friend said if this gets 200 kick-ass votes... were gonna try anal. please don't vote. he's on Viagra.

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A husband and wife are trying to setup a new password for there computer. The husband puts "mypenis" and the wife starts laghing because the computer says "ERROR: NOT LONG ENOUGH"

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Some one asked me how people view lesbians in my country. Apparently 'Usually in HD' wasn't the answer they were looking for.

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After having failed his exam, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student:

“Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor:

“Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student:

“Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the ...Read More

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That awkward moment when a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer.

Killer: "Turn down that dark road down there."

Rapist: "I was planning on it..."

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I'm not saying she's a slut but she did get fired from the sperm bank, for drinking on the job.

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When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a condom. Funny thing is, they were all just pictures of me.

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Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.

Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)

Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!

...Next Day...

(Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!

Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)

Kickass (678) Lame (91)

Today I got beaten by a woman. I was in the elevator when that busty thing got in. I was staring at her tits, when she said, would you please press 1? I did. I don't know why I got beaten afterwards.

Kickass (733) Lame (180)

Best way to answer the phone:

"Bob's whore house, you got the doe we got the hoe, how may I help you?"

Kickass (725) Lame (188)

Next time you're having sex with your significant other, stop right in the middle of it.When she asks what you're doing say, "Shhh...I saw this in a porno once. It's called buffering.